Man's mother feels left out of family gatherings

Published: Tuesday, February 3, 2026 at 5:00 am

Mother Feels Excluded from Son's New Family Life

A woman, identified as "Snubbed in Illinois," has written to Dear Abby expressing feelings of exclusion from her son's new family. Her daughter-in-law, "Louise," passed away five years ago, and her son, "Pete," has since found a new partner, "Shelly." Shelly has children and grandchildren, and the family appears close-knit, frequently sharing photos of their activities on social media.

The writer feels left out of these gatherings. She observes the family's outings, including events with Shelly's mother and grandchildren, through social media posts. She was particularly hurt when she saw a photo of the family enjoying brunch at a cafe directly across the street from her apartment, without an invitation.

The writer is hesitant to confront her son, fearing she will be perceived as overly sensitive or meddlesome. She seeks advice on how to express her feelings without appearing to be complaining.

Dear Abby's response suggests the possibility that Shelly is the primary organizer of the family's activities. The advice given is for the writer to speak directly with her son, inquiring if she has inadvertently offended Shelly. Abby also suggests the writer take initiative and begin inviting the family to events, including Shelly's mother.

BNN's Perspective:

This situation highlights the complexities of blended families and the emotional challenges that can arise after loss. While the writer's feelings of exclusion are understandable, open communication is crucial. The advice to speak with her son and take initiative in planning activities seems like a reasonable approach. It's important for everyone involved to be mindful of each other's feelings and strive to build a welcoming and inclusive environment.

Keywords: family, exclusion, blended family, daughter-in-law, son, social media, gatherings, communication, relationships, Dear Abby, advice, feelings, mother, stepfamily, grief

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