Dear Abby: My fiancee is an alcoholic its ruining my life

Published: Thursday, May 8, 2025 at 7:00 am

Dear Abby Tackles Relationship Troubles and Roommate Woes

This week's Dear Abby column features two letters grappling with difficult relationship dynamics. The first letter comes from a reader in New York whose fiancé struggles with severe alcohol use disorder. The reader describes daily arguments, emotional abuse, and financial strain as the fiancé repeatedly asks for money to buy more alcohol. The reader, already dealing with anxiety and depression and seeing a therapist, is seeking help to save the relationship. They are on a waiting list for couples counseling and are also exploring Al-Anon meetings for support.

Dear Abby's advice is straightforward: the reader is already taking positive steps. She encourages the reader to lean heavily on Al-Anon for emotional support, recognizing the toll of dealing with an addict. Abby emphasizes that the reader's fiancé must ultimately choose between alcohol and the relationship, and the reader may need to prioritize their own well-being.

The second letter comes from a reader in Virginia who is facing a different kind of challenge: a long-time friend and former military buddy who has become a messy roommate. The friend moved in to help with retirement and financial issues, but the apartment has become increasingly dirty and cluttered. The reader is frustrated by the lack of cleanliness, the accumulation of the friend's belongings, and the failure to handle important mail. The reader loves their friend but needs their space back.

Dear Abby's advice is direct: the reader needs to communicate their needs clearly and set a firm date for the roommate to move out. Abby stresses the importance of setting boundaries to resolve the situation.

BNN's Perspective: Both letters highlight the complexities of relationships and the importance of self-care. While the first situation is undeniably challenging, the advice offered is sound and practical. The second situation underscores the need for clear communication and boundaries, even with those we care about. It's a reminder that sometimes, difficult conversations are necessary for our own well-being.

Keywords: Dear Abby, advice column, alcohol use disorder, alcoholism, relationship problems, emotional abuse, couples counseling, Al-Anon, roommate issues, messy apartment, boundaries, communication, mental health, anxiety, depression, addiction, friendship, Dear Abby advice, relationship advice, roommate advice

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